Tuesday, 20 January 2009

Is it every going to get any better

I finally received an email from the website company late last night. I say late as it was 11.50pm.

I think he must of been half asleep when he replied to my mail, as it didn't tell me anything, neither did it really answer any of my questions. So when is my gimmick going to be ready? Your guess is as good as mine!

At least we know they haven't been bombed, disturbed by an earthquake, or in fact been burgled of their pc's.

Before we went to this company, dad did considered learning some of the coding languages and doing it himself, but thought better of it, due to time etc. Considering they are a company with plenty of experience within this sector, he obviously gave it to them.

With the time it's taking them to just get the launch page sorted, dad could have learnt one languages by now. If not two!

On a lighter and more funnier note, I thought I would post another email between, dad and his neighbour. As all this talk of nothing happening on the website is really depressing me and dad.

Dear Madam

It may have escaped your notice BUT.....since your arrival at Pandora some considerable years ago our life has been one misery after another.

If it isn't your dogs jumping the fence to deposit their shit ALL OVER our Wimbledon type lawn....it's those bloody noisy ducks quacking and squawking every time someone dares to enter our property....or if it's not that......its that damned Bo leaping once more over the fence to knock on our door wanting a safe refuge..... and finally.....if it's not any of the above.....IT'S you....leaping ( I use that term very loosely as age has clearly taken it toll) our fence to beg borrow or steal all manner of things....including lumps of coal........!!!!!!!!!

Quite frankly my dear wife and I have just about had enough..... Up to this point in time we have remained remarkably charitable towards you and your family, indeed in the words of a certain lager company......We are probably the best neighbours in the world.......

But even neighbours as nice as us have our limits....and ours have been reached....

Please take notice...I intend to bring to the attention of the Village do gooders committee your disorderly community conduct and I am sure they will back me by implementing and enforcing whatever ancient feudal laws exist in order to return our once peaceful village to how it was before you arrived all those many years ago....

P.S. If I so much as hear one more quack or the single crow of a cockerel they will be removed from your garden forthwith and place in a very hot oven to live out the rest of their days.....

Yours most sincerely

The nice neighbours who've suffered years of hell

Dear Excuse for a Neighbour.

Further to your earlier email today, I would like to point out that the animals I have accumulated over the years that I have been your kind and generous neighbour, have been for good reason.

As you will be aware, Bo is a dog that no one else wanted, indeed, I have offered her to you (with bows on) on various occasions, as companion for your lonely, friendless existence, but due to your dislike for all things, you declined. My elderly almost blind dog has gone that way due to having to make eye contact with the nasty man over the fence.

With regard to those delightful ducks, you may noticed that two of them are lame and I saved them from being, throttled, stripped of their feathers and placed in a hot oven for some ignorant person's bazaar selfish gratification.

I have taken the decision to set up as a charitable trust and therefore will be asking you to make a regular contribution by direct debit and a possible legacy in your Will. I strongly believe that you should contribute, as you and those lovely children (who are unfortunate in that they have you as grandfather) benefit greatly from my animals as they have the luxury of integrating with them at close quarters. I'm also thinking of charging for this life enriching experience by a toll gate at the bottom of your garden.

Further, when you next choose to darken my door, I will be charging for coffee.

Yours sincerely,

The Animals Against Neighbours Society

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